


Gotta let him down gently, right?

by WannabeCreativeAuthor



Category: The Fast Show
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-23
Updated: 2020-07-23
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:14:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25474447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WannabeCreativeAuthor/pseuds/WannabeCreativeAuthor
Summary: Lord Mayhew hasn't been himself lately. Ted finds out why and is furious. One of his friends has a revelation, and in the end, karaoke wins!
Relationships: Ralph Mayhew/Ted
Comments: 8
Kudos: 11





	Gotta let him down gently, right?

**Author's Note:**

> This story chronicles what happened before and after the famous seduction via karaoke ;)
> 
> I've just gotten into the Ted and Ralph sketches a week or so ago, and I NEEDED to write something for it.

He still remembered the little boy he had known briefly. Before that little boy had been carted off to Boarding School, scarcely to be seen again. 

Traces of him were lingering in the features of the man who was now approaching him. 

"Ted!", Lord Mayhew greeted him. 

"Mornin' Sir.", Ted replied, not meeting his eyes. 

He himself had been young then. Not as young as the boy, mind. 

Ted had started working on the estate when he was around twenty. Newly-wed, grateful for the job. And a hard job it had been under the old Lord Mayhew. What a nasty man. 

He didn't bestow that kind of adjective lightly, but that man had been a real piece of work. And his wife as well. 

None of those traits had been passed on to the young Sir though. He was all smiles and awkward charme. Of which Ted was often the recipient. Just as he was right now. 

"Ah, I see the shed is getting a new lick of paint." 

It was almost said as a question, while nervous hands toyed with the cuffs of the tweed jacket. 

"Yes, Sir." 

A pause. 

"Good. Good... Well, I'll leave you to it then." 

With that, Lord Mayhew turned around and trotted off in the direction of the greenhouse. 

Ted watched him go with slightly furrowed brows. 

This had been going on for over two weeks now. 

Usually he would stop for at least a few minutes, talking to Ted. Or better, talking at Ted. But not lately. 

Unbidden images of a hospital bed flashed in front of Ted's eyes. Strawberry blonde hair clinging to pale skin. Dark circles under blue eyes, staring vacantly into the distance. Two bandaged wrists on the duvet. 

Ted shook his head and dipped the brush into the dark green paint. 

It was probably just the autumn. Lots of folks got melancholic around that time of year. He himself much preferred spring, when everything was green and sprouting. 

The little boy had loved autumn. Everything turning to warm yellows and reds. 

_'Look, Ted! It's like the leaves soaked up the sunshine!'_

__Even at five years old he had found pretty words to describe the decay of nature._ _

__That same year, the first year of his employment, Ted had shown the young Sir how to build a kite._ _

__He had fallen on his nose a few times, but when he finally got it to fly, an expression of utter joy had spread over the boy's face._ _

__But Lord Mayhew wasn't that little boy anymore, and adults don't see the world as children do._ _

__Ted spent the whole morning and a good portion of the afternoon, painting the shed. Then he tended to a broken fence-post. All the while there was not sight nor sound from Lord Mayhew._ _

__Maybe he had gone into Wilmslow? But the car was still in the garage._ _

__After a final round to make sure everything was in order, Ted returned to his little cottage. The blasted drainage in the lower field could wait._ _

__Even though it wasn't that late yet, the sun already crept behind the hills._ _

__There was no light in the windows, no smell of cooking when he approached. Just silence inside._ _

__It had been like that for about a year and a half._ _

__He sighed deeply at the sight of the open fridge. Just a half-empty glass of pickles, a bottle of ketchup, and a packet of cheese that had seen better days._ _

__He had forgotten to go grocery-shopping. Again._ _

__After a lifetime of having someone else do these kind of household things, it was difficult to get used to doing them yourself._ _

__Esther._ _

__He still missed her. The searing pain of the recent loss had gone, but he missed her._ _

__Well. Down the pub then. There he could get a hot meal. And maybe a pint._ _

__The sausages were a bit burned, and the gravy watery, but all in all it wasn't too bad compared to the alternative of cheese, pickles, and ketchup at home. The beer helped wash it down._ _

__"Oi Ted!"_ _

__A large hand landed on his shoulder. He turned in his chair._ _

__The whole gang was here, already pulling up chairs._ _

__Ted nodded at them with a smile._ _

__"How've you been, Ted?"_ _

__"Oh, same old, same old."_ _

__"'You want another one?"_ _

__Steve pointed at his almost full glass._ _

__Ted shrugged. "Oh, why not."_ _

__His decision was met with very vocal approval from the guys, and soon the usual chatter erupted._ _

__Ted leaned back in his chair, trying to empty his two beers before both of them got stale, and just listened for a while._ _

__It was a good thing he had the boys. With them around he could forget every little thing that troubled his mind. Just sitting around, talking bollocks and playing stupid drinking games._ _

__All of their wives were friends as well. But they met up over tea and biscuits instead of beer._ _

__From Esther he had always heard everything that was going on. Like when Michael had found that strange lump on the back of his neck and had to go into hospital to have it checked out._ _

__His wife Mary had told Esther, and Esther had told him. The women talked about these kinds of things. Michael himself hadn't breathed a word about it. Ted wasn't even sure he would've eventually told them if it actually had turned out to be cancer._ _

__That had just been the way it worked for all these years. Nowadays he felt cut off sometimes. But that was just what men were like, wasn't it? Emotional stuff was for the women._ _

__Not that men had no emotions. They just didn't talk about them._ _

__Well. There were some exceptions to the rule._ _

__Lord Mayhew was one of them._ _

__That man wore his heart on his sleeve. It had brought him lots of bullying. And it had brought Ted a lot of teasing from his friends._ _

__The guys had clued in on Mr Mayhew's... disposition... very quickly. Not that it was hard to notice. Though he probably thought he was doing a decent job of hiding it._ _

__Just as he thought about him, Ted caught the mention of his name._ _

__"... Mayhew. You should've seen it! Whole bunch of kids running after him, singing. Could've pissed meself laughing."_ _

__Ted straightened in his chair._ _

__"What was that?"_ _

__"Huh? Oh, just some of the children made up a little song about Mr Mayhew."_ _

__Michael and Steve were shooting John warning looks, but he was already too drunk to notice._ _

__"What song?", Ted asked._ _

__John started singing merrily to a simple tune, swinging the pint in his hand from side to side:_ _

__"Lord Mayhew, Lord Mayhew, in the manor up the hill._ _

__Lord Mayhew, Lord Mayhew, does just as he please and will._ _

__Lord Mayhew, Lord Mayhew, the lordly manners are a farce._ _

__Lord Mayhew, Lord Mayhew, at night he takes it up the ar-"_ _

__At that point Steve elbowed him in the ribs._ _

__"Ow! What was that for?"_ _

__But before Steve could explain, Ted asked "So when was that?"_ _

__Steve rubbed his ribcage. "'Bout two weeks ago. Why?"_ _

__Oh no._ _

__"So you just stand idly by when a bunch of kids is behaving like that?"_ _

__Ted clenched his fists._ _

__"They were just having a bit of fun.", John shrugged, "Bein' creative.", he giggled._ _

__"I don't know what you did for fun as a kid, but I didn't go 'round shouting obscenities after people! My mother would've clipped me round the ear for that kind of behaviour. Or worse!"_ _

__"Hey! What are you yelling at me for? They're not my kids."_ _

__"No, but you stood there laughing. Doing nothing about it. A disgrace is what I call that! A bloody disgrace!"_ _

__Ted had gotten up without realizing it._ _

__"Hey now.", Michael said in a calm voice, putting a hand on Ted's shoulder, trying to push him into his seat again._ _

__Ted shook it off._ _

__"I'm going for a smoke outside.", he muttered, leaving the suddenly stuffy atmosphere of the pub._ _

__He leaned against the wall next to one of the windows, where there was a bit of light._ _

__His hands trembled slightly as he fumbled for his pipe and tobacco._ _

__Bloody kids these days._ _

__But he was even more angry about John. Mr Mayhew had only ever been kind to him. Had even brought him and Michael on as temporary help when Ted had been sick._ _

__He just didn't deserve that kind of treatment._ _

__Like earlier that day, the hospital bed materialized itself in Ted's mind._ _

__The young Sir must've been about seventeen back then._ _

__He had gathered from conversations between the old Lord Mayhew and his wife, that their son was in hospital. Though they only spoke about it in hushed voices._ _

__At that point, Ted hadn't seen the boy for years._ _

__In the school holidays he had been passed around among different relatives, because his parents were 'too busy' to spend time with him. Load of old bollocks. If you don't like kids, don't have them, that was his opinion on the matter._ _

__Then after graduation, he had begun his studies at the agricultural college._ _

__Even though he might not even remember him, Ted had decided to pay him a visit. If his parents wouldn't do it, he could at least tell him how things were going at home._ _

__Only when Ted had pulled up to the hospital, it had dawned on him what kind of place it was, and that the young Sir didn't just suffer from a bad case of the flu._ _

__That was what his parents told everyone. _'Ralph has the flu.'__ _

___Finally the pipe was burning properly, and Ted took the first drag. The smoke in his lungs had a calming effect on his nerves._ _ _

___Next to him, the pub door swung open, and Steve stepped out into the darkness. He looked around until he spotted Ted._ _ _

___Without saying anything, he also leaned onto the wall next to Ted, and got out a packet of cigarettes._ _ _

___White swirls mixed in with the night sky._ _ _

___"I agree, you know.", said Steve into the silence._ _ _

___"Hm?"_ _ _

___"It was nasty. What the kids were saying about Mr Mayhew."_ _ _

___Ted nodded. Steve had always been the most sensible of the bunch._ _ _

___"You remember my Pauline had her big birthday in June?"_ _ _

___Ted nodded again, wondering where this was going._ _ _

___"We had a family gathering for that at her sister's house, over in Beaver's Neck. Cause they have a big garden and all. They've got a boy and a girl, lovely kids. The boy's almost out of school, planning to become an engineer for something or other. Anyways. Apparently he's... you know."_ _ _

___Steve did the corresponding gesture._ _ _

___"And he brought his fella to the party. At first people were a bit... well, you know how folks can be. But him and his boyfriend were talking to them, just like normal. 'How's the weather' and everything. And slowly people started relaxing. Very nice bloke, the boyfriend. Wouldn't know from seeing him he was one of those. Knows his way round a car, plays football. Just like any of us when we were younger, really."_ _ _

___Ted didn't know what to say, so he decided on an approving grunt._ _ _

___"Got me thinking why everyone's making fun of them all the time. Like, yeah, I don't wanna know what they're doing in the bedroom. But I also don't wanna imagine what John and his Maude get up to, if you know what I mean."_ _ _

___That brought a chuckle from Ted, and Steve joined in. For a while there was silence again, only interrupted by the muffled noises from inside the pub._ _ _

___"Mr Mayhew's a nice chap.", Steve continued, "Bit too open with his feelings maybe. But from what you say about him, he seems like a good employer. Better than the old Lord Mayhew anyways."_ _ _

___Ted scoffed. "Loads better. Difference like day and night."_ _ _

___Steve nodded._ _ _

___"Yeah. Doesn't deserve that kind of talk. Not just from the kids. The grown-ups do it as well, they just do it behind his back."_ _ _

___Ted knew that. Often they would do it behind his back as well, cause he worked for Mr Mayhew. And he was known to give people a look when he overheard something._ _ _

___"They say he's trying it on with you.", Steve continued._ _ _

___Ted didn't say anything._ _ _

___"Difficult situation, is it?", Steve asked._ _ _

___"No, it's not like he's... He just asks me to go to the cinema and the like. He wouldn't get handsy or something."_ _ _

___"Mhm, wouldn't have thought so.", Steve nodded, "Still. You're working for him. Gotta let him down gently, right?"_ _ _

___"He wouldn't fire me, I don't think so. Not that kind of person to do something like that out of spite."_ _ _

___Steve nodded thoughtfully. "Right."_ _ _

___If he wondered why Ted hadn't yet talked to Mr Mayhew about it then, he didn't say so._ _ _

___"Think I'm gonna go home.", Ted mumbled._ _ _

___"Tab's on me.", Steve said, "I'll tell the boys you said bye."_ _ _

___"Thanks mate.", Ted clasped Steve's shoulder._ _ _

___"It's alright."_ _ _

___The walk back to his cottage wasn't too far. It was colder now. Even after he had finished his pipe, he could still see his breath in the air as a white cloud._ _ _

___He thrust his hands into the pockets of his old jacket._ _ _

___As he came along the path next to the forest, something rustled in the underbrush. A large shadow emerged._ _ _

___When it stepped onto the path, Ted saw that it was a doe. He stopped in his track, as not to frighten her._ _ _

___She looked around nervously, spotted Ted, and quickly disappeared into the forest again._ _ _

___Ted continued on his way. He'd gotten used to the large herds of deer._ _ _

___Lord Mayhew liked seeing them, and didn't allow anyone to shoot them on his grounds._ _ _

___In the winter, Ted put out hay for them to feed on. He had to admit, he'd grown rather fond of them as well._ _ _

___It was also quieter. The old Lord Mayhew had held regular Hunting Parties during shooting season. Quite a racket._ _ _

___In the years since the young Sir had overtaken the estate, a lot had quieted down. Ten years it must've been already._ _ _

___What little money there had been, his parents had spent it all, leaving their son with quite a substantial amount of debt._ _ _

___The manor was slowly falling to pieces, but Mr Mayhew made sure to take care of the estate as best he could. He had a real love for nature, something Ted understood quite well._ _ _

___Though his love for nature was more hands-on._ _ _

___Maybe a new orchid would cheer the young Sir up. He liked his orchids._ _ _

___Then again Ted would feel quite foolish, giving another man flowers. And Mr Mayhew would likely take it as a sign that he..._ _ _

____'Gotta let him down gently, right?'_ _ _ _

___When Esther was still alive it had been easier. The boundaries had been clearer. Ted had been married, that was that._ _ _

___But maybe he should've said something back then. He hadn't._ _ _

___And Ted could just pretend he had been worried about losing his job, but even then he had known what he had told Steve earlier. The young Sir just wasn't that kind of person._ _ _

___He had just let it go on. Every day Mr Mayhew would talk to him, constantly finding new topics. And thinking of ways to spend time with him._ _ _

___Ted had been careful not to think too hard about why it was so difficult for him to look the young Sir in the eye. Or why he got so tongue-tied around him._ _ _

___Class-difference had been big with the old Lord Mayhew. Under him, Ted had learned to keep his opinions to himself. A well-placed 'I wouldn't know about that, Sir' could soothe any aristocratic temper._ _ _

___The young Sir on the other hand often sought out his advice, praised his knowledge on gardening._ _ _

___He had also requested Ted call him Ralph. But that felt wrong somehow. Too intimate._ _ _

___As did the poems he had written Ted for his birthday, and for christmas._ _ _

___All of them were neatly stacked in one of the drawers in the living room cabinet. Under papers from the bank._ _ _

___Ted smiled and shook his head, as he opened the door to his little cottage and switched on the light._ _ _

___If Mr Mayhew just didn't always insist on reading the poems out in front of Ted's friends, he wouldn't mind them as much._ _ _

___They were nice._ _ _

___Ted was by no means an expert in poetry, but he liked them. The young Sir had a real way with words, when he wasn't stumbling over them in conversation._ _ _

___He yawned. Tomorrow he needed to finally sort out the drainage in the lower field. The bane of his existence. Had been going on for years._ _ _

___Before going to bed, he rummaged around the wardrobe for the green overalls and laid them out for the morning. No particular reason, he just felt like wearing them._ _ _

___Morning came, and even though Ted had slept a solid eight hours, he felt tired._ _ _

___The sun hadn't yet climbed over the horizon when he stepped out of the door._ _ _

___Before he would see to the cursed drainage, he went on his usual walkaround, to see if everything was still in order. Slowly the early morning light crept over the hills, as he made his way._ _ _

___In front of the greenhouse, Ted froze._ _ _

___A shadow was looming inside. It didn't move, but it was certainly human-shaped, not a fox or the like, wreaking havoc._ _ _

___Careful not to make a sound, Ted grabbed a shovel from a nearby flowerbed, holding it in front of him like a cricket bat. Slowly he inched towards the door of the greenhouse. The glass panels were milky with dew drops, so he couldn't see inside._ _ _

___He opened the door as quietly as he could. The surprise was on his side._ _ _

___But as he peered through the rows of orchids and other exotic flowers, he let out a relieved breath._ _ _

___"Sir!"_ _ _

___The figure standing with his back to him, spun around with a jolt. The fearful expression soon softened into a nervous smile._ _ _

___"Ted! You gave me quite a start."_ _ _

___"Sorry Sir, I thought you might be an intruder."_ _ _

___Ted quickly put down the shovel._ _ _

___"Oh, no no, I have to apologize! I'm not usually up and about that early, I should have given you a warning. I'm sorry Ted."_ _ _

___Ted had to suppress a smile that wanted to spread over his face._ _ _

___"It's your greenhouse, Sir. You can come and go as you like."_ _ _

___"Yes. I suppose so. Still...", he fidgeted with his hands, "Well, you know Ted, I had a bit of trouble going to sleep. So I thought I might tend to my orchids for a bit."_ _ _

___Ted nodded._ _ _

___For a long moment there was silence._ _ _

___Usually Mr Mayhew was the one to break it. Not today._ _ _

___Ted had the feeling he should just go, but instead he said "Need any help, Sir?"_ _ _

___"Um, no. No, I can manage on my own quite well. Though I appreciate the offer, thank you Ted."_ _ _

___"No worries, Sir."_ _ _

___Now was the time to turn around and go, but Ted's legs were uncooperative._ _ _

___"Lavender tea, Sir."_ _ _

___"Sorry?"_ _ _

___Mr Mayhew raised his eyebrows._ _ _

___"It's just that Mrs Ted would always say lavender tea's good for sleeping troubles."_ _ _

___"Oh.", a wobbly smile was spreading over Mr Mayhew's face, "I think I will try it then. Thank you Ted."_ _ _

___When Ted met his eyes, he saw they were glistening, tears threatening to fall. Quickly he turned his head away again, as did Mr Mayhew._ _ _

___"I'll be off then, Sir."_ _ _

___"Uh, yes, goodbye."_ _ _

___With long strides he was out of the greenhouse, marching towards the lower field. He would descend on that drainage like a harpie._ _ _

___It felt good hacking away at the earth for a while. One of the pipes was blocked, so he had to get it out and clear it. They would probably need bigger ones anyways, so it wouldn't happen anymore. There was a lot more water in the ground than he had previously thought._ _ _

___Blasted drainage. Blasted kids. Blasted feckin' village._ _ _

___Ted didn't know what the young Sir had been like previous to his stay in the hospital, but he could imagine it must've started with something like this. And he didn't know what to do about it._ _ _

___Oh, he would very much like to give the parents of these kids a piece of his mind. But what good would that do? Wouldn't help Mr Mayhew._ _ _

___Hadn't that man been through enough?_ _ _

___Sure, he owned a big estate, had grown up posh. Always enough food on the table, not lacking any necessities . And if he ever decided to sell the estate, he would be quite well off. There was no denying that._ _ _

___But parental love was something that couldn't be bought for all the money in the world._ _ _

___And still he had turned into such a kind man._ _ _

___Something must've gotten into Ted's eye. He rubbed at it, irritated._ _ _

___As he did so, he leaned on the spade, looking across the fields._ _ _

___In the distance a figure approached on the grass. Getting bigger with every step._ _ _

___Ted shielded his eyes against the sun. It was Lord Mayhew._ _ _

___Hastily he wiped his face on his jacket sleeve._ _ _

___"Ted!", the young Sir called, and fell into a light jog over the last few yards._ _ _

___Maybe Ted had been wrong and Mr Mayhew was fine. Everyone had strange moods now and then afterall._ _ _

___When he stood in front of Ted, there was determination in his face. Something Ted hadn't seen on him often._ _ _

___"Ted.", he began, "I would like to invite you to the pub. Tonight. It's not a problem if you don't want to, I won't bother you again."_ _ _

___The sentences hung in the air like something final._ _ _

___Ted looked at him._ _ _

___"I would like that, Sir."_ _ _

___Mr Mayhew blinked. Then he blinked again._ _ _

___"Sorry Ted, I'm afraid I didn't quite catch that."_ _ _

___"I said, I would like that, Sir."_ _ _

___"Oh... Really?"_ _ _

___"Yes Sir."_ _ _

___"Well... then I shall see you in the evening."_ _ _

___He hesitated, as if fearing Ted would say something more. Then he turned around, walking up the hill again._ _ _

___Ted watched him go. There was a spring in his step that had been missing for the last few weeks._ _ _

___While digging, Ted whistled a little tune._ _ _

___Then the melody stopped abruptly._ _ _

___He was going to the pub with Lord Mayhew._ _ _

___The thought made his stomach slightly reconsider his breakfast. And why was his heart beating faster?_ _ _

____'Gotta let him down gently, right?'_ _ _ _

___Had the time finally come to do so?_ _ _

___He didn't see Mr Mayhew for the rest of the day._ _ _

___After his final round, Ted went back to his cottage to get changed out of the overalls. He put on his usual red jumper and jeans, then made his way up to the manor._ _ _

___Halfway up, he met Mr Mayhew, going in the opposite direction._ _ _

___"Oh, Ted. I was going to pick you up."_ _ _

___"No need, Sir. This way's quicker to the pub.", he pointed in the direction Mr Mayhew had come from. The path ran along the backside of the manor._ _ _

___"Oh. I didn't know that.", he fidgeted with his vest, "Then, um, lead the way."_ _ _

___"Yes Sir."_ _ _

___They fell into step next to eachother._ _ _

___"Ted?"_ _ _

___"Yes Sir?"_ _ _

___"Don't you think you could call me Ralph, just for this evening? I mean, you're off work now... Not that I would insist on you calling me Sir when you're working. Just... you know."_ _ _

___"I don't think so, Sir."_ _ _

___"No, wouldn't have thought so."_ _ _

___It was their ancient game. Always the same. Ted couldn't honestly say why he didn't just do the young Sir the favour. It had just been so long that every other answer would feel like pulling the plug from a full bath tub._ _ _

___They had reached the bit where the path grazed alongside the forest._ _ _

___"How... how have you been, Ted? I feel like I haven't talked to you properly in a while."_ _ _

___"Well, same old really, Sir."_ _ _

___"Mhhm", Mr Mayhew nodded, "Then... let's have some fun tonight, eh? It's been ages since I have been to the pub and had a drink. When did you last go, Ted?"_ _ _

___"Yesterday, Sir."_ _ _

___"Ah."_ _ _

___The rest of the way they spent in silence._ _ _

___Just when they stepped through the door and saw the crowd, Ted remembered that today was karaoke-night. He couldn't say he was a fan of that newfangled idea, but it seemed to draw people in._ _ _

___"There is a free table.", Mr Mayhew pointed to a corner, "Have a seat, Ted, I'll take care of the drinks."_ _ _

___And with that he wriggled through to the bar._ _ _

___Ted sat down. He hunched his shoulders. There was a tingling sensation at the back of his neck. Like everybody was watching him. Watching them._ _ _

___But when he looked around, all the people seemed very much occupied with themselves or their group of friends. Most of them he didn't know, and the others just by sight._ _ _

___It took a little while for the young Sir to return. When he did, he put two beers, and two glasses filled with an amber liquid on the table._ _ _

___"Here you go, Ted, there's your pint, and this is something called a 'Whiskey Chasseur'. The barmaid recommended it. I said to her, me and my mate Ted want to get right royally drunk. And have fun. This is fun, isn't it, Ted?", he gestured at both of them and the table._ _ _

___"You forgot the crisps, Sir."_ _ _

___"Oh yes, I'm sorry."_ _ _

___He was going to get up, but Ted stopped him._ _ _

___"It's alright, Sir."_ _ _

___Mr Mayhew sank back on his chair again, awkwardly. He took a breath._ _ _

___"Now Ted... I know things have been difficult for you since... since that business of... since that little bit of nastiness...", he gestured wildly with his hand._ _ _

___"Since Mrs Ted died, Sir."_ _ _

___Why was he bringing that up now?_ _ _

___Ted felt the shadow of an arm around his shoulder. The arm that had supported him on the way back from the graveyard. None of them had ever talked about it again._ _ _

___"Exactly. Since... then. And... I know that loss can be profoundly... profoundly... well, profound. What I'm saying is, life goes on, with or without crisps. Uh, and and with or without Mrs Ted. Not, uh, not for a moment that I'm trying to equate Mrs Ted with a packet of crisps of whatever flavour. Salt and vinegar, cheese and onion, those modern flavours I can never keep up with. Barbecued... prawn, and spring... cheese."_ _ _

___Well, he certainly hadn't practiced that speech long enough._ _ _

___"I don't really know about that, Sir."_ _ _

___That was the good thing about their dynamic. Whenever Ted didn't know what to answer to one of those long ramblings, he could just say 'I wouldn't know about that, Sir.'_ _ _

___"Anyways.", Mr Mayhew continued, "I said to myself, I'll take the old chap out of his cottage and we'll go down to the pub and we'll have some fun. This is fun, isn't it, Ted?"_ _ _

___Ted sighed._ _ _

___"She was a grand woman, Sir."_ _ _

___He wanted him to know. It was somehow important to make it clear._ _ _

___Mr Mayhew looked down on the tabletop._ _ _

___"She was, wasn't she, Ted? But, uhm, come on, let's have some fun, eh?"_ _ _

___"She was a really grand woman, Sir."_ _ _

___"She was a really grand woman, Ted.", he seemed to deflate a little._ _ _

___"So", he continued, raising his glass, "here's to Mrs Ted who, uh, is sadly no longer with us, and... to fun."_ _ _

___They clinked and both downed their Whiskey Chasers._ _ _

___"Well, that was fun, wasn't it, Ted?", Mr Mayhew breathed, throat constricted by the burning alcohol._ _ _

___"I'll get the next lot in then, Sir."_ _ _

___"Oh, really?"_ _ _

___"Well, I can wait if you want to, Sir."_ _ _

___"No, no, no. Tally them up, Ted."_ _ _

___He was trying to blink away the tears, that the sharpness had brought._ _ _

___Ted grabbed both glasses and went to the bar._ _ _

___It was probably a good idea for both of them to get drunk. Sober, this evening would become unbearable. Not because he didn't like the young Sir, but neither of them felt completely comfortable around the other._ _ _

___While they downed round after round, the pub started to fill up even more. The lights were dimmed down, and the karaoke machine started._ _ _

___Most of the singers weren't particularly good, and Ted didn't really pay attention. The conversation was, as most of their converstions, quite one-sided. Mr Mayhew rambled on, and Ted threw in a sentence or two occasionally._ _ _

___He was glad though, that the young Sir had apparently found to himself again._ _ _

___"... what I'm saying, Ted, is... what I'm trying to say to you, what I'm saying is... oh, I love this song!"_ _ _

___Mr Mayhew's hair was dishevelled from the habit of combing it back with his fingers, but not quite succeeding in his current state of mind. He was also a little distracted._ _ _

___Ted only felt a slight, pleasant buzz, but then he was more used to drinking than the young Sir._ _ _

___"I... I mean", he seemed to have found the plot again, "I'm trying to say, Ted... what I'm saying Ted is, that obviously Mrs Ted has left a big hole in your life. And believe you me, there's someone who can - who can fill that hole."_ _ _

___Ted's eyes widened. Had he really just said that?_ _ _

___"I, I mean you have so much ahead of you, Ted. You have so much life to live. You're - you're relatively... well, you're not an old man, Ted. I mean, how old are you? About a hundred?", he grinned._ _ _

___Ted couldn't help but chuckle._ _ _

___"I'm joking, Ted. I... I don't care how old you are. Even if you were a hundred, I would still love-", he stopped himself mid-sentence, just as Ted's heart stopped mid-beat._ _ _

___"I... I would still love... I would love to get some more drinks."_ _ _

___He stood up quickly and disappeared towards the bar. Ted breathed out._ _ _

___Why was he even nervous? He knew what the young Sir wanted to say, what he had always skirted around. Though he had never come this close before._ _ _

___Before Ted could catch a clear thought, he heard a familiar voice behind him._ _ _

___"'ullo Ted!"_ _ _

___"Hey...", he greeted the group. Just as last time, they were piling around the table._ _ _

___"How are ya?"_ _ _

___"Not so bad. Nice to see you."_ _ _

___John was saying something, but Ted couldn't make out what, since another voice caught his attention. Amplified by a microphone._ _ _

___"... song is for someone very special. They know who they are, but I know who I am... too."_ _ _

___Ted's heart sank. He turned around to the makeshift little stage to confirm, and yes, it was indeed Lord Mayhew standing there, microphone in hand._ _ _

___The first few chords started, and so did he, a little shaky._ _ _

___Ted knew that song, it was on the tip of his tongue..._ _ _

_"...gonna set me on fire, My brain is flaming, I don't know which way to go..."_

___Burning Love, that was it. By Elvis Presley._ _ _

___Oh Sir._ _ _

___Ted prayed to god his friends wouldn't notice._ _ _

___But of course it only took them a split-second. All three of them craning their necks to get a better view, and then bursting out into laughter. Even Steve, who shot Ted an apologetic glance._ _ _

___Though Mr Mayhew didn't at all seem deterred. He soldiered on, and actually leaned more into the performance, throwing shapes. Wasn't half bad. That bit of confidence suited him well._ _ _

___Ted felt a fond smile creep onto his face. The young Sir was making an absolute spectacle of himself. For him. What a daft man._ _ _

___The guys had stopped laughing, bopping their heads to the tune. A few people started clapping along._ _ _

_"Just a hunk, a hunk of burning love. Just a hunk, a hunk of burning love. Just a hunk, a hunk of burning love."_

___His enthusiasm was infectious, and when he had sung his last note, the room erupted into applause._ _ _

___A little sheepish, he climbed down from the stage and staggered towards their table._ _ _

___"Good one Mr Mayhew!", Michael clapped him on the shoulder, "Who would've thought you had it in you, eh?"_ _ _

___The others made supporting noises._ _ _

___"Uh, thank you, very kind.", he looked at Ted, then quickly averted his eyes, "I... I think I need a bit of fresh air, I feel a bit... woozy. Excuse me, gentlemen."_ _ _

___He made his way to the door._ _ _

___"Mr Mayhew, eh?", John shook his head in disbelief, "who would've thought, indeed."_ _ _

___"What are you saying to that, Ted?", Michael raised his eyebrows._ _ _

___"I need a piss.", Ted mumbled, and got up. He didn't go to the bathroom though._ _ _

___Outside, he looked around. Finally he found him, on a bench at the side of the pub. He was sitting with his back leaned against the white wall, looking up at the stars._ _ _

___"Sir.", Ted said softly._ _ _

___"Oh, Ted. I will come back inside in a minute. I just...", he trailed off._ _ _

___Ted sat down next to him._ _ _

___"Are you alright, Sir?"_ _ _

___"Yes, Ted. Yes, perfectly fine."_ _ _

___The look on his face betrayed him._ _ _

___"That was quite the performance, Sir."_ _ _

___The smile Mr Mayhew gave him was a little shaky._ _ _

___"Yes... I thought I might have orverdone it... I hope I didn't embarrass you, Ted. I am after all your employer. And your friends were there..."_ _ _

___"No Sir, not at all."_ _ _

___Again, Ted felt that fond smile spread over his face._ _ _

___"...Good."_ _ _

___And now the tears were falling._ _ _

___"Sir..."_ _ _

___"I... I'm sorry, Ted.", he sniffled, tears and snot running down his face._ _ _

___"What for, Sir?"_ _ _

___Ted had to fight down the urge to wipe away the tears with his thumb._ _ _

___"E-everything.", he gestured broadly at himself, "I thought... I thought I'd make one last attempt tonight, just one last attempt... pull out all the stops...", he took a shaky breath, "I... I love you, Ted, I can't help it. And... and I promise I won't bother you anymore. I just needed to say it. Now you know... what - what I am.", a series of sobs rattled him like a leaf in the wind._ _ _

___"Oh Sir..."_ _ _

___Ted put an arm around him. The sight of such misery pulled at his heartstrings._ _ _

___Mr Mayhew flinched._ _ _

___"Y-you don't have to do that, Ted. I'm fine, really..."_ _ _

___Ted shook his head._ _ _

___"I hope you don't mind me saying, Sir, but you're really not."_ _ _

___This brought on another series of sobs, and Ted pulled the young Sir's head onto his shoulder, stroking his back._ _ _

___"Don't... don't I make you uncomfortable? I mean, because..."_ _ _

___"No.", Ted said it firmly, "And you shouldn't listen to what people have to say about you. Especially ones who don't even know you."_ _ _

___'Not like I do', he added silently._ _ _

___And maybe there was something people didn't know about him as well. Something he had barely started realizing himself._ _ _

___Without thinking, he grabbed the young Sir's hand in his own._ _ _

___Mr Mayhew raised his head and stared at him. Eyes round, and red from crying._ _ _

___Ted didn't meet his gaze. He focused on their hands, started stroking the palm in little circles with his thumb. He felt Mr Mayhew's warm breath on his cheek, who for once seemed as lost for words as he was._ _ _

___After a few moments, the young Sir lowered his head carefully onto Ted's shoulder again, and snuggled closer._ _ _

___Ted's stomach was full of fluttering insects. Positively crawling._ _ _

___How long had he felt like this about Mr Mayhew? He honestly couldn't tell._ _ _

___His head was spinning with thoughts. What would it even be like with another man?_ _ _

___The body next to him breathed regularly now. Tears and sobs had gone. A contented smile graced his lips._ _ _

___Ted lifted the young Sir's hand to his own, and pressed a small kiss onto it._ _ _

___Mr Mayhew's breath hitched in his throat, face glowing._ _ _

___Then Ted felt a very careful and chaste kiss pressed to his cheek. His heart leaped._ _ _

___They would figure it out, Ted was suddenly sure of it. He couldn't have picked a more gentle and loving soul._ _ _

___Well, actually it was the other way round, the young Sir had picked him. And he had been so patient._ _ _

___It would probably also mean he had to get used to calling him Ralph now._ _ _

___He looked at the mess of strawberry blonde hair, framing shiny eyes and a beaming smile._ _ _

___It would be difficult to break the habit, but it already didn't feel too intimate anymore._ _ _


End file.
